Pahiram sa tadhana

Napakasayang isipin na sa bawat pagbukas muli ng mata, at sa pagharap sa panibagong araw ay alam kong makakasama ulit kita.

May halong mang kaba, pawis, kabog ng dibdib ngunit alam kong duon ko naramdaman ang mabuhay muli.

Ang makaramdam ng panibagong init, ang pagbanat ng mukha mula sa mga mata at bibig na nakangisi.

Kaya ito tayong muli, sa panibagong pahina ng buhay natin.

Walang oras, araw o panahon ang sasayangin kapag kasama ka.

Dahil sa bawat oras na kasama ka o kausap, hindi lang pagmamahal o saya lang ang nararamdaman sayo. Kundi may takot, takot na mawala kang muli.

Dahil ang makasama ka, alam ko may darating na balang araw mawawala ulit to, itong mga saya diba?

Itong nararamdaman mo.

Alam ko babalik ka muli sa araw na maiisipan mong ayaw mo na,

o kaya magising ka bigla mula sa maganda mong paligid at haharapin mag-isa ang realidad ng sariling buhay.

Akin ka, at iyong iyo lang ako.

Ngunit bakit ramdam ko parang hiram kalang sa akin ng tadhana, pakiramdam ko hindi ka buong magiging akin?

Pinangunahan na naman ba ako takot? O kaya ba napagisip isip ang mga ganitong bagay dahil sa mga pinaparamdam mo?

Kung makaramdam ako muli ng panlalamig sa’yo, handa mo ba akong bigyan ng mainit na yakap mo?

Kapag ba tumakbo ako, hindi ka ba susuko at hahabulin mo nalang ako?

Akala ko sa tadhana ako nagpapadaloy, kung saan man niya ilagay duon lang ako,

pero sa pagkakataong ito. 

Ikaw, 

ikaw sa kung saan naka-depende ako sa’yo,

dahil sa bawat kilos, o sasabihin mo

gagawin ko at pakikinggan ko

dahil pag nagmahal ka hindi pwedeng dalawa ang maging tanga, di pwedeng dalawa ang magparaya,

ngunit sa pagkakataong ito dalawa ang pwede kong piliin

ang ipaglaban o isuko ka.

Ngunit naglalaban ang dalawang takot sa akin

ang takot na ipaglalaban kita kahit walang kasiguraduhan at ang takot na kapag isuko ka ay alam kong wala nang magiging kasunod na panibagong araw.

“Find solitude in sadness”

It makes you vulnerable and strong at the same time, being lonely. Cause you find yourself fixing your own without their help, but you seek for somebody else to be there for you.

Like when I’m sad, I can make things up, I can write an essay, a poem even a song. Maybe you need to feel ‘less’ before you appreciate or understand things.

What lacks on you, you seek for it. Or when you lose something, you might regret it. Like if there’s no suffering there’d be no compassion.

It’s a cycle, you will never understand a thing unless you experienced it.

It’s okay to be sad, because you can find yourself with that. Because sadness can never lie, you can cheat happiness. You can pretend you’re happy, but you’re not. But you can’t hide sadness. Cause it makes you as you, you can find what you truly are, cause when you’re what is inside of you are filling up because that is what you feel and think.

Blog # 5: “The Life of a Wallflower”

They say that “Youth are the nation’s hope”, and in our country we have this theme that there is “more fun in the Philippines,” but according to research, our country remains to be the ‘least happiest country in south east Asia’ reasoning out that we have the highest incidence of depression and a big percentage of the people involved would be teenagers. Odd isn’t it? Yes, a “Filipino teenagers” young and free people like you and me. How could this be that a white and innocent, mere tested being is stained and deprived by life circumstances, hardships and breakdowns. It was said that the main causes of depression were: losing of loved one, jealousy, insecurity, stress grief, substance abuse like bullying, poverty, lack of attention, and many more. Most of us are prone to this kind of position for we have different levels of personal hardships, but one thing for sure is neither a substance nor medicine intake could easily resolve the situation.

Let me bring you to those situations. Remember that time when you look in the mirror? You saw yourself, you were there but somehow, it was different. You were different. You see your reflection inside of you that something wasn’t even complete, and when you began to feel incompleteness, that’s the time that darkness will eat you little by little. You were lost, you decided to stop believing in yourself that there’s something or someone great beyond that reflection you see in the mirror. That time you think you’ll never be better or never be enough.

But let me tell you something, I suffer that kind of depression too; they were days or weeks that I really want to just kill myself, and the reason of it was sometimes curiosity, like ‘where will I go after I died?’ ‘Was heaven and hell are real?’ Sometimes it’s the loneliness that eats me up, or when people let me down that they make me feel that I’m a worthless person. It feeds to my mind that ‘what will happen to them after I gone?’ ‘would they feel regret? anger? sadness? Shame?’ I want to know my importance, my place into people, their feelings, how they can spill the truth and the lies they made, each words that would make them feel regret, their what if’s and but’s, and maybe it will be more okay, If I will disappear.

But the feeling of this kind of situation before makes me a selfless person now, because I’ve realized that the people that I loved needs me, I am their hope. If I disappear then it will leave them in much greater than depression. And I don’t want to make them feel that way because I used to be in that situation, that’s why I’d made up my mind that I will survive another wave of trials again in my life.

I know that each of us has different stories, with one situation. But believe me, if we survive this situation, then we made it. Because killing or ending your life is not the best way to eradicate depression, there are many ways, good ways rather to leave it. Happiness is a choice, let yourself be alone sometimes, find solitude and peace in there, and let the nature or the galaxies be your friend, seek hope to the sunsets, look at the stars and moon when you’re happy, go up to the mountain alone, shout there out of your lungs what you wanted to say, how angry you are to this world because they will listen to you, and they will never leave you, they will be there when you’re sad or happy, maybe sappy at the same time.

We believe that in light, the hope is there, but the truth is, you will only see hope in the dark, because we will never feel the importance of hope if we never feel the darkness in our lives. Like what Jaimie Sullivan says in “A Walk to Remember” she said that, “Without suffering there’d be no compassion.” So, if you’re suffering into this kind of situation, we must embrace this darkness and make it as a light of your life, burn it so it would make a fire into your heart, and you will see yourself growing, and shining, and you will feel that you’re stronger than before, that you’re stronger than depression, and nothing could ever break you nor separate you from your happiness.

From the Philippine Daily Inquirer; Young Blood “ When you want to kill yourself” By Lance Patrick Ty

Read more: http://opinion.inquirer.net/100950/when-you-want-to-kill-yourself#ixzz4a8dRxQkR

“When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like, a princess, a cowboy, or a pilot but in my case, I want to become an Astronaut.

When we were ten, they asked again. We answered basketball player, author, singer or in my case, to become an artist.

But now that we’ve grown up, many people want us to become more serious. And yes, we should be,

But in my case, this is not the right time to make things right all the way of your life, because this is our time to accept all the things in life,

that it’s okay to make a mistake,

it’s okay to say no,

it’s okay to be alone,

it’s okay to make another decision and another as long as you wanted,

it’s okay to feel lost, get stuck somewhere and you don’t know where to go,

because this is only the beginning of your life, you must appreciate your flaws so people can accept you. Love your weakness so it can be your own strength too.

Imagine the life span of your life right, maybe you’re 19 or 20, and at the age of twenty-four to seventy-five, you have 51 years to find a job, get your first promotion, take an overtime to your office, and buy your own car and house, to make your own family…

Imagine your life doing the routines of every people, is that your real dream?

I’m saying this, because we grown-ups afraid of taking chances in life, afraid of rejections and failures, that we didn’t know that without it there’d be no success, there’d be no another chances. Without mistakes, we can never make things right.

And if I would ask if what do I want to become, I want to be an events manager, I see myself making my own production, assisting people, and interact with them. I want to be an actress on a musical play too, but I know this is not the right time because my family needs me. On the other hand, my mom wants me to work whether on a hotel, a cruise ship or an airplane, she wants me to travel the world. One of my teacher told me I can be a DJ too, which I also want to try. These are the things that I really want to do, but it terrifies me because I don’t know where would I start, or would I be compatible working there? I’m afraid of myself too, my capabilities, and skills don’t go beyond people’s expectation, or maybe I don’t trust myself. 

But one thing I’ve realized now,..
Yes, there will be a times that we will feel afraid because we don’t know what the future holds, but I say this to you, one thing that we might regret in our lives, is we didn’t took every chances that life gave to us, or we didn’t try, or we didn’t appreciate what God gave to us, or we didn’t get out to our comfort zone, or we didn’t try to make new things.

But like what Jessica Stanley say’s on her graduation speech, “This isn’t the time to make hard and fast decisions, this is the time to make mistakes. Change your mind and change it again because nothing’s permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way someday when they asked what we want to be, we won’t have to guess – we’ll know.” 

#graduationspeech #aftergraduation #grown-ups

#DepressionIsNotAJoke Nowadays, every students killed theirselves because of depression. One of the factors of this is cyber-bullying. Technology have been touched our daily practices , were social networking sites has invaded every person’s life nowadays. Now it was easier to communicate because of the gadgets, connections and social media sites, that it became a new channel of communication It served as a medium of delivering information, by keeping us updated on the recent issues or events around the globe which is benefitial now for us. Now we can be easily heard by just posting what do we want to say, or by uploading what do we want to show to every people. However, when Social Media becomes an outlet of expression and opinion. Sometimes having an excessive use of the social media have cons in return. Cyber-bullying becomes a trend. Internet becomes the beehives of the bullies. Gossips can be easily articulated. People usually fight on social media because of their different beliefs, opinions, and perception when it comes to an issue. But does it really gave them a freedom of expression? or it might ruin their privacy especially if it gets privacy especially if it gets viral? social media now might cause a harm to everyone, where the privacy of people was mistreated. We can be easily judged by just expressing our own opinion, that is why people got bullied, people got abused, and their freedom of expression were too inadequate.   It only means that nowadays words are powerful, it can change or destroy people’s lives, but whether social media has a good or bad effects to people, it’s still depends upon the user if they will use it wisely or not. Yes, we do have a freedom to say anything we do we want but there is limitation when it comes to it, that there is a bound to everything and we must control ourselves because at the end of this issue you were fighting off, it’s you that will defines who you are or what kind of person you are. So it’s better to be more careful now or not to fight back than being a so called “Keyboard Warrior” or “Mr./Ms.know-it-all”